When Fear of Success Stands in Your Way
Something is holding you back from taking real steps toward your goals.
You're probably already familiar with how fears of failure keep you stuck.
But what about fears of success?
It seems counterintuitive.
You have so many things you want to achieve, like finding a new job, sorting out your finances, or starting a consistent fitness routine.
So why would the idea of getting what you want get in your way?
According to perfectionism, if you succeed, you'll have to sustain it. If you're seen by others, you'll be judged. And it's not like you can enjoy your wins anyway, because there's always something more to achieve.
In this article, I explain how fear of success factors into perfectionism and procrastination, and give 5 tips for taking action even when it's scary.
Why Do I Fear Success?
Perfectionism tells you that you need to meet extremely high standards in everything you do. It turns you into your own worst critic. And gets you worried about what could go wrong if you don’t do everything just right.
Perfectionism poisons success in so many ways.
Here's a few examples:
The exceptional becomes the expected
As soon as we achieve something, that becomes the new standard. Perfectionism demands that we perform just as well (or even better) from then on.
If you're already feeling the weight of impossible expectations, it's stressful to imagine raising the bar even further.
Visibility brings judgment
Success often makes you more visible to others. Like if people hear about you going back to school or getting a promotion, or see you talking about your growing business on social media.
Just the thought of being visible to others can be terrifying.
Because perfectionism tells you that being seen means being judged.
According to perfectionism, you should care deeply about what other people think. And do whatever you can to avoid disappointing them or embarrassing yourself.
Plus, just like you'll expect more from yourself after success, you assume that others will hold you to even higher standards going forward.
Feeling like an imposter
Perfectionism feeds into imposter syndrome, where you believe that you’re only pretending to be smart, competent, or skilled.
Perfectionism also hijacks success through imposter syndrome.
Since you feel like you don't really deserve your dream outcomes, it's hard to fully commit to making them happen.
And even when you do achieve success, you still feel on edge, like a fraud just waiting to be exposed.
Perfectionism dismisses your wins
It’s tough to celebrate your wins with perfectionism.
Perfectionism minimizes any milestones you reach, saying they're:
Not very important or worthwhile
More about good luck than your talents, efforts, or skills
Something anyone could achieve
You rarely feel the sweet rewards of success with perfectionism, making it hard to push through the hard work and vulnerability that’s usually needed to reach your goals.
Signs Fear of Success is Holding You Back
How can you tell if you're dealing with a fear of success?
Fears of failure and fears of success look very similar in action.
For example, you may notice yourself procrastinating, sticking with what’s familiar, comparing yourself to others, and downplaying your achievements.
Read about these examples in more detail in my article on fears of failure.
But here’s one area you’ll want to pay extra attention to: What happens when you're starting to gain momentum? Do you notice yourself pulling back whenever things look promising?
This is a key sign that fears of success are getting in your way.
5 Tips for Moving Forward Even When You Fear Success
Unpack your beliefs about success
Take some time to notice your thoughts, beliefs, and assumptions about success.
What lessons did you learn about success in the past? What do you expect will happen when you reach a certain goal?
Here are two kinds of beliefs that can fuel fears of success.
“All-or-nothing” thoughts
If I succeed once, I have to perform like that forever
One mistake and everything will come crashing down
Catastrophizing thoughts about worst-case scenarios
If I succeed I’ll only have more to lose
Whenever things go well, something bad always happens
People will eventually realize that I’m a fraud
Consider whether your thoughts about success make you more or less likely to go after your goals.
Set new expectations that support you in taking action
Come up with other perspectives that offer a more balanced and motivating view of success.
For example:
It's okay to do well at some things and struggle with others
It's normal to move between success and setbacks over time
Just because I achieve something once doesn't mean that's the new minimum standard
My wins are always worth celebrating
Visualize positive outcomes
Perfectionism puts a negative spin on everything. It’s much easier for you to see what could go wrong than what could turn out well.
Be intentional about visualizing positive images of success alongside any fears, to help connect you with those possibilities.
Picture yourself living out your goals. What would your daily life look like? What would you be saying, doing, feeling, or thinking?
Use all your senses to bring this image to life.
Positive outcomes are just as likely to happen as negative ones, no matter what perfectionism tells us. So it's important to give brain space to that possible future too.
Practice tolerating discomfort
Pushing through fears of success will feel uncomfortable at first. Doing anything new or unfamiliar can feel like stretching a muscle you haven't used in a while.
Work on sitting with any discomfort that comes with success. Don’t run away from it. Pause. Breathe. Create space for those feelings.
You can feel worried or anxious and still do something because it's important to you.
Just like warming up that tight muscle, you'll feel more at ease as you go.
Celebrate your small wins
Purposefully notice and celebrate all your success along the way, no matter how small.
Don't let perfectionism downplay your wins.
The more we acknowledge and highlight our success, the more we can build on what's already going well.
Fear of success is real, but it doesn't have to be the thing that stops you. Your goals are worth the discomfort, the visibility, and the vulnerability it takes to get there
Procrastination Course Now Available
Having trouble moving forward? Check out my course on procrastination
Get Things Done Not Perfect: Working Through Procrastination & Perfectionism
Learn hands-on strategies to help you move from feeling stuck to taking action
About Dr. Marnie Rogers-de Jong
My goal is to help people who feel overwhelmed by anxiety and perfectionism overcome their fears, embrace their unique strengths, and feel more content with who they are. I’m a Registered Doctoral Psychologist with a PhD in Counselling Psychology. I’m also the founder of Navigation Psychology, located in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.
Registered Psychologists in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Interested in starting counselling? Navigation Psychology offers in-person counselling in Saskatoon and virtual services across the province of Saskatchewan. We support clients dealing with a variety of concerns, including anxiety, perfectionism, depression, trauma, and relationship issues. Get started by booking a free 20-minute consultation call.
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